What if people don't want to play this game? What do you do? If the people you are dealing with want to use positional bargaining respond using principled negotiation €“ it is infectious. If you react with position bargaining you get locked into those position and move to Win Lose. This is just like the Chinese Finger Traps which become tighter and tighter the more you try to pull your finger out; relaxing and moving slowly allows you to be released.

Responding with principled negotiation allows you to bring the outcome back to a Win Win outcome. Ways to do this are:

• Be open about finding a solution that meets both needs
• Ask questions to understand their interests
• Summarise what you know or understand about the interests that are behind their position
• Suggest a range of different solutions that meet their assumed interests
• Ask what standards they are measuring their position against to ensure it is fair
• Suggest different objectives and standards to measure the result against.

Negotiation is a part of everyday life, not only at work, but in all aspects of life. Traditional styles of negotiation do little to promote the relationships between people and, although you might win today, further negotiation may be more difficult and you might not then achieve the win you would like.

Principled negotiation offers a style of negotiation which aims to deliver fair outcomes, objectively measure in a way which builds relationships to positively effect future results.

References and further reading

• Covey SR. The seven habits of highly effective people. Revised ed. London: Simon & Schuster; 2004
• Fisher R, Ury W. Getting to yes €“ negotiating agreement without giving in. London: Random House Business Books; 1999

The next step is to put these ideas into action. Finish by recording your learning outcomes.