Building up your accounts

We have discussed how the emotional bank account represents the level of trust we have in our relationships with others. You can make deposits and improve a relationship or make withdrawals and worsen it.

So how do you build a healthy and rich emotional bank account?

Well, one deposit at a time is a good start. A word of caution though: just remember that what may be a deposit to you may not be a deposit to the person on the other side of the relationship. Deposits are very personal, so make sure you judge them well and that they are meaningful to the person for whom they are intended. Here are some examples of deposits and withdrawals:

Deposits

• Keep promises
• Be loyal
• Do small acts of kindness
• Listen
• Say you’re sorry
• Set clear expectations and objectives
• Provide honest and constructive feedback.

Withdrawals

• Break promises
• Gossip and break confidences
• Be self-centred
• Don’t listen
• Be arrogant
• Set unclear expectations and objectives
• Don’t provide feedback.